I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
