I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
