vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
