I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
