you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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