This girl is more easily done than said...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
