she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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