Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
