if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
