the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
