Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Enjoy the penises
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize