stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize