Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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