id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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