Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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