I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
