I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
