thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
