OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
