I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
