we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This toilet bowl is my home.
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