We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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