From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize