: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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