I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
