We're like a lot better than the average bears
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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