The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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