But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
