Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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