weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
