the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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