she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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