I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
