I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
