I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
