I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
