It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
