Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
