dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I party with great urgency now.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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