i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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