I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
