$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Randomize
