Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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