I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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