Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
