yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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