Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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