I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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