just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's great music for shaving your balls
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
