So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
