At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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