So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
