turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
