my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
