i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I cockslap morals
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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