That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
