ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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