New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
