my vag is so smooth its legendary
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
