you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
