I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
