After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
