But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
