hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
