We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
