so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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